I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
