this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
