New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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