She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
tell me about the fingering
Randomize