Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
