Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
a search helicopter?!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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