I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
