His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
