I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
