just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
