You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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