I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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