just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
