so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
