They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
