sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
