He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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