She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
