im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize