Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
