OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
someone owes me an orgasm
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
