Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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