Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
