I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
