Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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