Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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