Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
