How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
