maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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