So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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