K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
