dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
