So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
