you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
