Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
