Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
