I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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