I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
