I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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