saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
