My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize