dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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