3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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