its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
