Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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