Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
