We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
