Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
