i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
