And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize