how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
