i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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