there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
