Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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