I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
handjob tips. give me some.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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