ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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