i don't like sucking hair
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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