I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
