Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
