I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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