In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
