i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
