we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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