dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So apparently I’m into choking now
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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