I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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