yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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