You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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