as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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