I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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