It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I deserve this hangover.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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