I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
