you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
