Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
