Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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