Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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