i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
