just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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